Breaking up with someone who you have spent a lot of your time with can be hard but sometimes it is for the best. Relationships fall apart for several different reasons and thats okay! Some of the best advice I got when I went through my recent break up was ‘You survived before him, you will survive after him’. Looking back now, my friend was right and I feel a lot better within myself now that I’ve moved on.
So I am here today (with a little help from my friend Amie) to give you advice to help with the break up and moving on phase. I will be a hypocrite in some of this advice because I learnt the hard way!
- Cut all communication with the person – Whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you – it was for a reason. Yes, its going to hurt and yes, it is going to be hard but I feel its best not to talk to them until you have healed and moved on. My breakup was MESSY – we lived together and there was a lot of things which needed to be sorted to get closure. Not going into details because its no one else business (sorry if you wanted the goss) but we stopped talking generally and only talked when it was regarding situations at hand.
- Don’t be spiteful – Did you guess it? I am a hypocrite for this one. I will put my hands up and say ‘Yes, I was a right cow during the breakup and I was bitter’ but looking back, it was not needed. There was nothing that could have stopped the break up and as me and him both agreed, it was a long time coming. I went through waves of emotions – guilt, anger, pain, upset but after the next steps to come, I was on top of the world and couldn’t be happier.
- Socialise and keep busy! – From the evening the break up happened to this current day, I have been a busy bee and doing all the things I love. My friends picked me up and we went to the pub where I was able to vent and get everything out of my mind plus a large glass of wine and I felt a thousand times better. They all reassured me that its just a bump in the road and I have my whole life a head of me.
- Don’t dwell on the hurt – You are in control of how long you hurt over the break up! Its natural to feel lost and hurt by it but it does get better with time. Stalking their socials and wondering what they are doing will only prolong the hurt. The way to look at it is to ignore all the bad things – yes you might think they are a horrid person but think about all the good things they have brought to your life. For example – my ex changed me and I wasn’t the happy, confident, bubbly Loz that everyone knew in the beginning. We argued a lot and this changed the both of us to the point we were unhappy. Without my ex though, I wouldn’t be going to University and I am grateful that he pushed me to do my Access course to get my grades. There is always something which you can thank them for.
- Remove everything of theirs out your life – Remove, get rid, gone, BYE FELICIA kinda deal. You don’t need reminders of what was in your life. That chapter is over so it is time to move on and start a whole new page. Just being reminded of what was is just going to hold back the healing and moving on process. If you need a pick me up heres a link to my Bye Felicia playlist which are motivational songs which made me feel 100% better, Its a mixture of what songs helped me and others which friends have suggested.
If all else fails, ice cream, hot water bottle, comfy pjs and watch Magic Mike. Perfect pick me up! You are the best, you’re amazing in all ways possible and you will
Below you will find Amie’s YouTube video where she gives her take on break up and what not to do! Amie was there for me when I had my break up and even though we haven’t know each other long or very well, she was lovely and let me whine about what had happened. Amie has also started her own beauty business which is how I finally met her because she did my eyebrows before my date night so ladies (and gents!), if you live in the Hampshire area and are looking for a reliable beauty therapist then here are her links (Facebook & Instagram)